Thursday, January 24, 2013

Thursday Funnies


Writing Mistakes – Bad Vocabulary

  • Amateur: A very good person in sports
  • Cadet: A boy who carries golf clubs
  • Cynical: A cynical lump of sugar is one pointed at the top
  • Dead heat: Anything in such a raging heat that it would kill you
  • Ignition: The art of not noticing
  • Income: A yearly tax
  • Individual: One piece of people
  • Inter alia: Something in the ale
  • Lie: An aversion to the truth
  • Preposterous: a child born after his father’s death
  • Quorum: Another word for quandary. It happens at meetings.
  • Spectre: A man who cheers a football team
  • Transparent: Something you can see through — for instance, a keyhole
  • Snow: Rain, all popped out white
  • Stars: The moon’s eggs


Writing Mistakes – Typos!

  • Last night, when I ate dinner, I started joking.
    My friend hit my back very hard until I stopped.
    I was so lucky he was there!

  • I always ate lunch at school.
    But every day my mother made me suffer.

  • My bed has three blankets
    and a large guilt my parents gave me.

  • My father met us at the airport
    and gave me a big hog.
    Then he hogged my wife

  • I have something exciting to tell you. My girlfriend and I got enraged last night!

  • The groom was wearing a very nice croissant

  • He lifted the veal off her face and gave her a big kiss.

  • When we won, I was so exciting I had goose pimps all over my body.

  • Did I tell you I climbed half way up one of the tallest pigs in the world?

  • It was so exciting to watch! The cheerleaders threw up high into the air.

A Recipe:
  • -First, heat up your pants really hot, then add oil.
    -Put the cabbages in salt water. Then sit in the sink until the morning.
    -Next, chop all the vegetarians into little pieces.
    -Next, add a little Buddha and mix it all up.
    -When you are finished cooking, find a suitable bowel and eat it with chopsticks.


Random funny quotes:

For a long time now I have tried simply to write the best I can. Sometimes I have good luck and write better than I can.

I love being a writer. What I can’t stand is the paperwork.

A good head and good heart are always a formidable combination. But when you add to that a literate tongue or pen, then you have something very special.
{In all honesty....I like this one... :D}

The waste basket is the writer’s best friend.
Pinned Image
The difference between an author and a horse is that the horse doesn’t understand the horse dealer’s language.

If writers were good businessmen, they’d have too much sense to be writers.

It’s a poor mind that can only think of one way to spell a word.

I just wrote a book, but don’t go out and buy it yet, because I don’t think it’s finished yet.

The difference between the right word and almost the right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug.

Only a mediocre writer is always at his best.

Television has raised writing to a new low.

Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.

Copy from one, it’s plagiarism; copy from two, it’s research.

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{Some found HERE}


  1. Who? Me? I love that. I can imagine the teacher "Very good!"
    Student, "Oookay, then..." :)

    And the research one. Particularly true on school assignments.

  2. I like the joking one! But, in my house, sometimes it isn't a typo. Mime hits me on the back until I stop joking sometimes... xD And I LOVE this one: "Copy from one, it’s plagiarism; copy from two, it’s research." Totally true, eh?!!